Happy Easter

my heart holds within it every form,
it contains a pasture for gazelles,
a monastery for Christian monks,
there is a temple for idol-worshippers,
a holy shrine for pilgrims;
there is the table of the Torah
and the book of the Koran.
i follow the religion of Love and go whichever way his camel leads me.

this is the true faith;
this is the true religion.


- ibn arabi

Beecher

Today marks mine and Fred's eighth anniversary. It's hard to resist the impulse to say, "It's gone by so fast!" Because it has. I will admit that since June was born, the days seem to go more slowly, but the years more quickly. Soon it will be 25 years and June will be graduating from college. She will, no doubt, be a world famous scientist who has cured cancer, AIDS and the common cold. She will also be a princess, if she has anything to say about it.

Well, it's been eight years, and only after eight years have I finally decided to change my last name. When we got married, it never occurred to me to change my last name. I was Nicole Duclos and Fred was Fred Beecher and that was just who we were, married or not. There wasn't any huge statement I was trying to make, and Fred liked the French lull of my full name, Nee-kol Mah-ree Doo-cloh, as did I. I always liked the fact that when I gave my name in France, they would mistake me for one of them.

After June was born, something shifted a bit in me. I recognized that there was another interpretation of changing one's "maiden" name, rather than that it was an outdated patriarchal ritual. Fred and June were Beecher's, and I wanted to be a Beecher too. Maybe it was the questions I frequently got such as, "Are you her mother?", "Are you divorced?", "Are you her stepmom?" But really, it was more about being a part of a family; a family I love and want to create together with the other people involved. And having the same last name is a powerful symbol of such co-creation.

I had mentioned it to Fred a couple of years ago, but he said that my given name was so beautiful, that "Nicole Beecher" just didn't sound right, so I dropped it. But I kept thinking about it. And, finally, for our anniversary this year, I told Fred that I did, in fact, want to change my name. Even though he was attached to my given name, I think he was flattered.

And, so, the process begins for my becoming Nicole Marie Duclos Beecher.

Now it's time to order the monogrammed towels.

Backfire

See that down there, in the ads. That's an ad for VS, the very company I have sworn off. I should have known that would happen.

Hey, Google Ads, get rid of that, would you?